Stabbed to Death with Someone Else's Angst
by crematosis
Summary: Introducing a really bizaree crossover thing! Starring the Lion king, Naruto, So3, Pokemon, friends of mine, and a lot of other stuff...it gets crazy and no one is in character for very long...read for utter randomness!
1. Everybody Mambo

A/N: Okay, I have a lot to say in this one. This story basically makes fun of just about everything. I apologize like…a lot…for killing anything you were ever fond of…but I make fun of even myself so, no big deal, right? My buddies at school, Hannah-ness and Daavid asked me for this one so I had to do it. XD And no…It's time to meet the writers if this stupid thing! Introducing the author-er and author-ess…other wise known as Zaneh-kun and Sarah-ness…or Zane the Insane and Saran Wrap…whichever one works. XD Zane is a humor writer that will write a lot of funny things and he ends up getting beat up by girls who want to be in his stories. XD Sarah on the other hand likes to write yaoi...but not too graphic…but don't worry, this story makes fun of yaoi too! So, love it or hate it…you'll stare and be, "0.0 what the heck is that?" XD

Disclaimer: We don't own any characters that belong to someone else. –nods- tis true. Err..yeah…We also don't own any movie lines or song lyrics or stuff that we put into here. XD

Everybody mambo!

It was a beautiful, bright, sunny Sunday morning in the Pride Lands. All the animals were freshly groomed and bathed as the stood stiffly all lined up along the side of the watering hole. Their heads were bowed and their faces were serious. But then their ear twitched as they picked up a sound. They all glanced up simultaneously as Simba strolled down the line with a proud expression as he glanced over each animal. He came to the end of the line and stepped back a few paces and shouted…."Food Fight!"

Instantly there was absolutely utter chaos. The animals jumped into the water and began pelting each other with fruit. In the midst of this happy activity, a very serious event happened. With a loud "Poof!" a warp hold opened on the bank and two animals were dropped in from another world.

The elephant was the first to notice the newcomers. With a trumpet of alarm, it scrambled out of the water to the opposite bank, nearly crushing several gazelles in its panic.

An eerie silence settled over the scene. The animals from the Pride Lands waited for the strange creatures to reveal themselves, as they had both hidden behind a large boulder.

Simba stepped forward. "New animals,. Fear not. We will not harm you. All of us are bound by the circle of life. We respect each and every animal, no matter how small or large. Do no be afraid.

The green lizard was the first to peek out from behind the rock. "Yoshi?" it inquired.

"Yes, don't be afraid," Simba encouraged. 'Come on in the water with us and have fun."

A scream ripped through the air and the Yoshi darted back to its hiding place. A black haired boy with a baseball cap fell through the air and landed with a splash in the water.

The second creature, a yellow mouse thing, ran over to the boy as he hauled himself out of the water. "Thanks, Pikachu," The boy said cheerfully.

"Pika pika!" Pikachu shouted, tugging on Ash's hand.

"What is it, Pikachu?" Ash looked around and gasped as he saw hundreds of savannah animals gathered around the watering hole. "Look at all the pokemon!" He yelled.

Simba stepped forward and gave him a quizzical look. "What are these pokemon you speak of?"

Ash gasped. "It talks!"

"Of course Simba talks," an irritated female giraffe replied. 'We all talk, even you."

Ash looked disappointed. "I guess you're not pokemon."

Yoshi scuttled out from behind the rock and stared at Ash curiously. 'Yoshi?"

"Aha!" Ash cried. "But this one is definitely a Pokemon. It says its name!"

"Yoshi!" the poor creature squealed, diving back to its rock.

But Ash was faster. "Pokeball, go!" he shouted, hurling it at the frightened lizard.

The ball smacked Yoshi on the top of the head and fell to the ground with a clunk. The Yoshi burst into tears and put a hand up to its aching head.

"I don't understand," Ash muttered, sadly. 'It should have worked."

A small bird comforted the injured Yoshi. "That wasn't very nice," it snapped.

Simba snarled at Ash. "Why are you hurting that little creature? It did nothing to you."

"Where I come from that shouldn't hurt," Ash muttered, demonstrating by putting Pikachu in a Pokeball.

Simba looked impressed. "I apologize for leaping to conclusions."

"It hasn't been the first time," a dark lion muttered from nearby.

"Shut up, Kovu," Simba growled.

Kovu merely smiled and stretched out in the sun next to Kiara.

Kiara's tail swished lazily. "I'm bored. Can we do something?"

"Great idea! Let's take the visitors to the Entertainment Ridge." Simba said.

"Oh good, more karaoke," Kovu muttered irritably.

Kiara licked him. "Come on, it's fun. Race you to the ridge!" She took off running and Kovu chased after her.

Soon Ash, Pikachu, Yoshi, Simba, Kiara and Kovu were gathered on a rocky outcropping where there was a stereo, karaoke machine, t.v., and playstation.

Simba plugged in the karaoke thing and Pikachu chose a song, Livin' La Vida Loca. Pikachu grabbed the mic and began to sing. "Pika pika chu! Pika la Pika piku!"

Ash gasped. "Pikachu, you said 'la'!"

Pikachu scowled and tossed the mic to the ground.

Simba cleared his throat. "Um, who wants to watch t.v.? Naruto's on."

"Okay, turn it on."


	2. Somewhere in Konoha

A/N: Another really wild chapter. XD This one makes fun of most of the naruto characters….I'm sure we'll probably get plenty of flames…since they don't call Zane insane for nothing. XD But I don't care…really…as long as someone enjoys this…technically, someone has to. XD

Disclaimer: A lot of stuff in here isn't mine...it came from someone else's imagination and I just designed the plot. Hikaru isn't from my imagination either; she belongs to a friend of mine. XD

Somewhere in Konoha…

Sasuke Uchiha was in the shower, singing.

"Be my bad boy, be my man. Be my weekend lover, but don't be my friend"

Naruto had somehow found himself in Sasuke's house and was just outside the door listening, growing visibly paler. "Who's he singing about? Me? I hope not…"

Sasuke stepped out of the shower with a towel around his waist. He noticed Naruto but didn't seem surprised to see him. "Hello, Naruto. Hey, what's with that face? You look like you'll be sick."

Naruto laughed nervously. "Uh, why were you singing that song?"

Sasuke looked confused. "I was singing?"

Before naruto had a chance to reply, Ororchimaru burst through the door and waved a tape in the air. "You sure were. I have footage from my secret video camera I installed in here of you in the shower to prove it!"

Sasuke's eyes widened and then…one of them began to twitch.

-twitch twitch twitch twitchtwitchtwitchtwitchtwitch!-

And then he fell on the floor. "Ewww, a creepy guy was spying on me!"

Naruto laughed hysterically. "hahahahaha…oh wait…ewww!"

Orochimaru stood proudly. "Just call me…oh oh ole! My smile makes everyone love me."

Sasuke scowled at him. "Go away. I'm not gay."

Orochimaru grinned at him. "Are you getting up or do I have to go down on the floor with you?"

"That's really disturbing," Naruto muttered. "I'm out of here."

"Wait! Don't go! Don't leave me with this madman!" Sasuke begged.

Orochimaru grinned. "What fun we'll have together. We can play…Strip Twister!"

"Noooooooo!" Sasuke shrieked.

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We'll take a break from that scene and bring you to another…cooking with Akatsuki!

"Welcome back to the show," Kisame said cheerfully, holding a microphone. "Can everybody hear me?" The audience cheered loudly.

"God, good. Can you all see me?"

"Uh, can you move a little to the left?" a man in the back row of the grandstand shouted. "You're a little behind the giant salt shaker."

Kisame moved. "How's this?"

"Okay, you're good."

"Well, now that everyone can hear and see me, I'm going to-"

At that moment, Itachi ran around a corner and ran right into Kisame. Itachi irritably rubbed his forehead. "Stupid tree. That hurt! I shall destroy you for being in the way!"

Kisame jumped back to avoid Itachi killing him. "Hey, it's me! Don't hurt me!"

"Oh, sorry," Itachi said quickly. "I'm just so busy…hmmn,..where did I put the vodka?"

Kisame paled. "Uh, Itachi?'

"Not now, Kisame. WHERE IS THE DAMN VODKA?"

"Itachi, we have viewers," Kisame hissed.

Itachi spun around. "Viewers? Where? Who's viewing us?"

"I mean, we have an audience for our cooking show, so you should stop worrying about the vodka and start cooking."

"Right, now where did I put that skillet?" Kisame sighed heavily as Itachi began wandering around the stage looking for it.

After a few moments of "technical difficulties" the show began with every utensil known to man labeled with a huge sticky note so Itachi could easily find it. However, this didn't work out so well when the skillet was labeled on the bottom. Itachi put the skillet over the fire and the paper burst into flames! Luckily, there was a fire extinguisher.

The audience was beginning to suspect they were being trapped in a crazed reality show, like maybe The World's Worst Cooks.

Now Itachi was chopping onions and he chopped so hard that a piece flew off the cutting board and landed in his eye. "Oww! It stings! I'm blind! I can't see! Oh wait...that's normal. Carry on!"

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We return you to your regularly scheduled programming…back to sasuke!

Somehow, Sasuke had managed to escape and was standing outside when a girl in an Akatsuki cloak jumped from a tree in front of him. Sasuke frowned. "What do you want?"

"I want you to die! Behold the wrath of Hikaru!"

Sasuke frowned. "You're not much older than me."

Hikaru frowned. "What? Hey, you lazy author! You better make me older!"

The author sighed. "Alright, you can be older."

"Yay! Make me twenty!" Hikaru cheered.

Poof! Hikaru was twenty. She was now taller with shoulder length brown hair and brown eyes. She grinned at sasuke. "I know kung-fu!"

Sasuke stared. "Who are you anyway?"

"I'm part of the Akatsuki," Hikaru said proudly.

"No, you're not. You're a girl. There aren't any girls in the Akatsuki."

"Yes there are," Hikaru insisted. "There are secret girls and I'm one of them."

Sasuke frowned. "It's not a secret anymore, stupid."

"Sexist!" Hikaru screeched. "I'll fill your body with lead!" She grabbed a box of pencil lead and stuffed it down sasuke's throat.

While Sasuke was gagging, Hikaru looked back up at the sky with puppy eyes. "Please, author-kun, can you put Hidan in your story?"

"No," the author's voice boomed

"Please? Put Hidan in the story! Hidan is awesome!

"I already said no!"

"Put Hidan in! Put Hidan in! Put Hidan in!"

The author growled. "You're giving me a headache. Fine then, have your precious Hidan."

Hidan was dropped from the sky at Hikaru's feet.

"Yay! Now put in Tobi! No story is complete without Tobi."

Tobi was also dropped from the sky.

"Let's go do something evil," Hikaru plotted. "Kukukuku."

"Tobi is a good boy," Tobi added.

Hidan smacked him. "Yes, Eeeeeeeeeeevil. Right after I get back from my church service. Sayonara!"

Hikaru gasped. "You can't leave! You just got here! Make him stay!"

Suddenly they were all inside a huge cathedral. A monk directed the service at top speed and kicked them out.

Hikaru cheered. "Now can we go do evil deeds?"

Hidan frowned. "That was only 15 minutes for a service. Oh well, let' get muffins!"

"Yes, but we'll steal the muffins!"

"Oooh, evil. I like your style. Akatsuki, away!" And they leaped off.

Sasuke was left alone for a brief moment, until his fangirls showed up. "Sasuke!" Sakura shrieked. "You are all mine!"

"Move it, Miss Forehead. He's mine."

"But I saw him first!" Another girl shrieked.

"So what? I founded this club."

"I love sasuke more than you do!"

"Let go of him, pig!"

"You first, ugly girl!"

Sasuke found himself in the middle of a fangirl catfight which was also a tug of war.

"Let go!" he screamed. "I don't like any of you."

Sakura let go first and then all the others let go quickly. "He doesn't like us?" Sakura whispered. "Maybe he's gay."

"Yes!" a girl cheered. "That's the coolest thing ever! And he wasn't afraid to tell us."

Ino grinned. "We should have a yaoi fan club instead of a sasuke fan club. Our first business will be to find sasuke a boyfriend."

Saskura smiled. "I guess we can't fight over Sasuke anymore, huh Ino?

"Nope, but I'm sure there's something else we can't agree on…like…is Sasuke uke or seme?"

"You stupid girl! Of course he's a seme. He wouldn't let someone else be on top."

"But I think it would be cute if sasuke was willing to let someone else be in charge."

"You're stupid and ugly."

"Bah, look at you. No wonder Sasuke became gay!"

Sasuke scowled. "Stupid girls think they know everything."

Saskura perked up. "But now we know sasuke is gay, we can take him shopping with us!"

"Yay!" The fan club cheered.

Sasuke ran off, screaming. "I'm not gay!"

The club chased after him. "But sasuke, pink is a very pretty color. I'm sure you'll like it!"

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Meanwhile…a word from our sponsors!

"My name is muffin and I approve of this muffin!"

Err…yeah…back to the story.

"Wait, wait! I can tap dance too!

Yeah...not happening. Ahem. And off we go!

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The fangirls had caught up to Sasuke and had dressed him in a frilly pink dress and had put hot pink bows in his hair. Sasuke scowled and crossed his arms over his chest. "I am NOT gay."

"Are you bi?" The girls looked at him hopefully.

"No!" Sasuke shouted.

"Do you like girls then?"

"No," Sasuke growled.

"He's in denial," Ino said confidently. "We need to get him a mentor … like … Orochimaru! He's gay and he's not afraid to show it! Sasuke will learn plenty from him."

Sasuke groaned. "When will this day end?"


	3. Who What What?

A/N: Back for aother ound of randomness. I'm sorry I haen't gotten to this in such a long time…I was just …busy. Yeah, that's it.

Disclaimer: Nothing really to say…

Who What What?

"What was that?" Kovu asked. "You call that a TV show? Ick. Simba, why'd you pick that?"

'I didn't pick it. I merely suggested it was on in case anyone wanted to watch."

"Yeah yeah." Kovu curled up on top of a rock. "Is there anything else on besides that mess?"

"I don't know, it kind of had redeeming features," Kiara said cheerfully.

"Like dressing a poor guy in a dress?" Kovu muttered.

"Hey," Kiara growled.

Pretty soon, the two of them were pouncing on each other and chasing each other around.

'Enough," Simba roared. 'We will just have to look for something else to watch."

Kovu let go of Kiara. "Fine, but I get to pick this time."

"Fine," Simba growled.

Kovu studied the remote and with his claw deftly pushed the buttons….

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"Welcome to the music channel!" a voice boomed.

"My name is who? My name is what? My name is-"

"Party party! Join us join us!"

"But you'll think of me."

"I won't say I-"

"Don't want to think about you, think about me. Don't want to talk this one out. Don't want to-"

"Bring me to life! Wake me up inside. Wake me up and save me from this-"

"Lies, lies, lies, yeah!"

"So tell me, are you friend or foe? We use to-"

"Ride the wings of pestilence!"

"You can hear all this and much more only when you sign up for a membership with the music channel's Music Madness Marathon!" the overly excited announced continued. "Bob, tell them what they win with their membership subscription."

Bob appeared on the screen holding up a collection of CDs. "We've complied our own list of never before heard songs by some of your favorite singers. How could anyone afford to look past "Skipping Peanut Butter" by the Grateful Dead? I don't understand why it didn't skyrocket to fame."

He pointed a finger straight at the viewers. "But now you have a chance to cash in on what the rest of the world missed. Sign up today for membership and receive these CDs of forgotten songs by hit signers absolutely free! We'll also include a CD of one of your favorite artists also absolutely free!" He finished with a very fake looking smile. "And now, back to you, Bill."

Bill reappeared sitting on a couch, holding a membership card. "Still wishing you could listen to these great hits whenever you want? Sign up now and for a minimal fee, you get those wonderful CDs Bob talked about, plus use of our exclusive Internet radio station, absolutely free! What could be better than that?"

He flashed a smile and a thumb's up sign and the commercial cut to clips of songs. In the background, a voice quickly intoned. "Lifetime membership required, cannot be canceled, returned, or refunded. CDs come with a one-year guarantee which does not cover water damage or use as a Frisbee. Lifetime membership fee of $444444 a month. If at any time you cannot pay the fee, all your assets will be taken and you will be kicked out on the street."

The two announcers reappeared on the screen with happy smiles. "Sign up today!"

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A brightly lit stage…a microphone. A girl wearing a zebra-striped jumpsuit walked out onto the stage and flipped her hair a few time before walking to the microphone. She paused, smiled at her audience and then seized the microphone.

"You don't have to worry!" she screamed

"You don't have to be so tough.  
I know you're in a hurry.

But you don't have it so tough.

And now it's up to yooooooooou

To be strong

It's on you, it's on you, it's on you

So doooooooo what you want

Don't be in such a hurry

To go on, to go on and on."

"And that was Power Kool-aide singing her new hit single, "Do it Now Because I Said So."

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"Wow, the music industry has certainly deteriorated," Simba observed.

"Augh, what is with all the crap on TV?" Kovu growled, batting the remote away.

"Let me pick something,' Kiara said eagerly. "I'll find something good."

"It'll be a girly show," Kovu complained.

"No, I promise. It'll be good. Just give me a chance."

Kovu eyed her suspiciously and then reluctantly handed over the remote. "Fine, go ahead."


End file.
